IT Professional always looking forward to make good friends

** Death is life’s way of telling you, you’re fired

** The philosophy of one century is the common sense of the next

** The 50-50-90 rule:
   Anytime You have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability u will get it wrong

** Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back

** Assumptions are the mother of all screw ups because whenever you ASSUME, you make an ASS of U and ME

** Some day you are the pigeon. Some day you are the statue

** There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot

** Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom    to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off

** It’s not the people who are in prison that worry me. It’s the people who aren’t

** Mirrors can’t talk and luckily for you they can’t laugh either

** First make yourself unpopular, and then people will take you seriously

** There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids from doing it

** Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world’s largest waterfalls & the sound intensity of the    waterfall is so high that sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing can’t b heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep    quiet so that we can hear the Niagra Falls

** If anything can go wrong it will

** Anything you buy, will be on sale next week

** When all else fails, read the instructions

** All the world is a stage, and most of us are terribly unrehearsed

** If assholes could fly, this place would surely have been an aerodrome

** Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation

** There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

** Sometimes in life you get quotes which you dont understand as to why they were written or why the hell are you reading    them. This is just one of them